How to Achieve High Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to control and express their own emotions, and monitor the emotions of others in a rational, empathetic manner.

Many people are unaware of the important role emotional intelligence plays in their lives. When we talk about intelligence, most people automatically assume we’re speaking about one’s cognitive capabilities, as opposed to the form of intelligence we utilize most frequently as social beings living in a social environment. Emotional intelligence impacts our lives greatly, as it influences the success we can achieve and the bonds we form.

What Are the Attributes of Emotional Intelligence?

  • Self-Awareness– You understand what stimuli evokes what emotional responses within you.
  • Self-Management– You understand why you’re feeling the way you feel and use that knowledge to steer and guide your behavior.
  • Empathy– You can understand and share the feelings of another individual.
  • Ability to Build Relationships– You know how to help others manage their emotions through your own emotional awareness to help establish and build a healthy relationship.

What Are the Signs Of Low Emotional Intelligence?

  • Lacks Self-Awareness– You are unaware of the origins of the emotions evoked within when exposed to certain stimuli.
  • Oblivious to the Feelings of Others– You lack the ability to read nonverbal cues (i.e., facial expressions and vocal tones).
  • Indifference – You don’t care how others feel and lack the ability to put yourself in their position.   
  • Inability to Maintain Relationships– You lack the ability to maintain strong, long-lasting connections with people.

How to Improve Emotional Intelligence:  

Unlike your IQ, your EQ is something that can be enhanced through hard work and understanding and is shown to have a profound impact on a person’s personal and professional life. From information gathered by Inc. here are seven ways to increase your emotional intelligence

  • Reflect on Your Own Emotions– Take time to sit reflect on how you handle difficult situations and ask yourself if it has served you well thus far in life.
  • Get Other Perspectives– Having an honest conversation with a family member or close friend about how you come off to them emotionally is a good way to gain clarity. Every word they say may not hold truth in your eyes, but because everyone views the world and others differently, you may be able to extract some invaluable insight.
  • Be Observant– Utilizing knowledge gained from the first two steps, try to be more observant of your current emotions in your everyday interactions.
  • Pause– This step derives from the odd adage, “think before you speak.” In this case, add “act” to it as well. Taking time to process information can be the difference between being employed or unemployed, in a relationship or single.
  • Understanding the “Why”– The why refers to the reasons behind people in relationships neglecting to show certain commonly accepted qualities such as empathy and compassion. According to Psychologist Adam Grant, he refers to this disregard as, “the perspective gap.” This term describes from the fact that at times, it can be difficult to be empathic. A solution to this problem would be to ask yourself why? Why does this person feel this way? What is this person dealing with? Why do I feel differently?
  • Don’t Take Offense– Sometimes, criticism can be hard to take. Instead of becoming defensive and letting your emotions get the better of you, try to learn what went wrong and how you can improve.
  • Practice– Although it is impossible to have complete control over your emotions all the time, it is possible to manage them. All that’s required is patience and practice.

Like most things in life, achieving what you set out to accomplish alone can be difficult, that’s why we’re here. Accelerated Resolution Therapy (often referred to as ART) is a form of psychotherapy that derives from existing evidence-based therapies and is shown to achieve benefits much more rapidly than traditional methods (usually within 1-5 sessions). To learn how to increase your emotional intelligence with the help of our straight-forward techniques, find an ART trained therapist near you or contact us today.